Writing the Past / Writing the Future

One thing I’ve noticed about writing, especially writing something in the vein of “spiritual memoir,” is that you are mainly writing the past. And perhaps even more so if your publisher is an evangelical mainstay that has to toe a very specific line (especially back in 2016-17).

That is, if you’ve gone more than a toe past that line in your current trajectory, you’ve got to step back, not forward, into your manuscript — or else find yourself out of step with all kinds of complex institutional dynamics, to put it conservatively (wink).

I remember writing the manuscript for The Light is Winning and struggling — agonizing, really — with this sense that the story I was telling was aging, that I was in the midst of, on the precipice of, something entirely new. I’ve mentioned in previous letters that some drastic life circumstances unfolded right at that moment, and they acted as catalysts for this transition in my life. And, when I tried to push forward into these newly unfolding perspectives during the writing process, I was yanked back pretty quickly.

The evangelical leash is a short one.

I did the best I could in that context, and I’m super proud of the book I wrote — even 7 years later! I already considered myself a settled “post-evangelical” at that time, and I think the book stands as a strong entry in that post-evangelical moment. As I’ve revisited it over the intervening years, I’ve become even more proud of it, because it also stands as an altar, a monument, to how I was able to see my life story at that time, right as it was beginning to radically shift.

But after that experience of writing the past, I now desperately want to start writing the future.

Writers are storytellers, whether fiction or nonfiction, journalism or copywriting — we’re all just telling stories, and we’re trying to tell them well. One of the things I’ve missed in the last few years away from public writing is the sense of agency that writing in public gives me over my own story. After a childhood in a high-control religious environment, I have always struggled to feel a sense of control over my own life. I have felt driven by the wind of overwhelming circumstances or controlling people, such that my course has sometimes been a jagged line, zig-zagging its way to an unknown destination.

But I sense that this is a season of reclamation — of continuing the work I started in creating my own story, but doing it in a new way, with a very specific eye to the future. And with the decided goal of diving deeper into The Story writ large — the cultural and prophetic waves moving all of us into whatever comes next.

At times this might look like a personal essay, at times fiction(!), at times recaps/reviews, at times poetry, at times creative guides or tutorials. But in all instances, my deepest hope will be to inspire and help you to reclaim your story as well, whatever spiritual or creative form that may take.

To that end, I’m sending this email from a new platform called Beehiiv, which is an incredible all-in-one newsletter service that will really allow for growth and sustainability, with much more to come. (That’s my affiliate link so if you sign up I’ll get a small commission.)

And, a(nother) name change is here! Zach Dives Deeper is now Write Into the Deep — a newsletter that dives into the deep sea of story, spirituality, & creativity. You can expect an article each Sunday that focuses on these themes, as well as a short-form midweek list of ideas, links, and quotes called Currents.

So I hope you’ll excuse this first (very plain and unbranded) letter. The much prettier and all-new newsletter vibe will be coming soon, and very soon.

See you all next Sunday.